


One is the Loneliest Number

by CydSA



Category: American Idol S8 RPF
Genre: Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-14
Updated: 2010-06-14
Packaged: 2017-10-10 02:48:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/94627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CydSA/pseuds/CydSA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>social phobia</p>
            </blockquote>





	One is the Loneliest Number

  
Kris knocked on the door, hands suddenly wet with sweat. He didn't know how he was going to start this conversation.

If Adam ever answered the door.

Brad had called him a week ago, worried, freaking out a little in his Brad way. "He won't talk to any of us, Kris, even me!" he'd said, voice disbelieving as though the thought of anyone not wanting to hang on his every word was unimaginable.

And that was the truth. Adam never ignored Brad. Adam never stopped talking. But since the assault two weeks ago, Adam hadn't been acting like himself. The Westboro Baptist Church had taken their verbal attacks on Adam and his tour to a whole other level.

"Come on Adam, open up, it's me." Kris banged on the door when Adam didn't open. He wasn't going to leave until he'd seen him. He carried on knocking, eventually sliding down against the door and sitting on the doorstep, bashing his fist repeatedly against the door.

When it opened suddenly, he tumbled backwards and lay halfway inside the house, looking up at an irritated Adam.

"Hi!" he said brightly, grinning.

"What do you want?" Adam was scowling and he looked like shit.

"I was in the neighbourhood…" Kris drawled and clambered to his feet.

"You live in Arkansas," Adam told him shortly, eyes bleak as he turned away.

Kris felt an ache in his chest. He'd failed his friend. "I'm in town for a while," he offered, "we're working on the second album." He watched Adam's shoulders tense.

"Congratulations," Adam said quietly and Kris thought he could just as well have said, 'fuck you' and it wouldn't have hurt as much. Adam walked into the kitchen and put the coffee machine on.

"Adam…" Kris began hesitantly.

"Not a word or you're out of here," Adam warned and Kris clamped his lips together.

Adam made the coffee in silence and handed it to Kris in silence and they drank in silence, staring at each other from opposite sides of the kitchen.

"Brad called you, didn't he?" Adam asked eventually. Kris nodded, unsure whether he was allowed to speak yet.

"He calls here all the time," Adam said and sighed. "He doesn't understand." Kris just looked at Adam, waited for him.

"I can't go out," he told Kris quietly, eyes blank, mouth tight. "If I open the door, it feels like the entire world is shoving at me to get in."

Kris bit his lip. "Have you talked to anyone about this, Adam?" Kris asked his voice shaky with tears. This wasn't his Adam, this small and scared person too afraid to open his front door.

Adam shook his head. "No, I can't, don't want to, take your pick." He firmed his mouth and looked away.

Kris sighed again. "You need to talk to _someone_ man, it's the only way you'll be able to work through this."

Adam was still shaking his head. "Nononononononono," he kept saying the word over and over again until it was just one long stream of sound and Kris realised that Adam couldn't stop himself.

He stepped forward, moving carefully until he was standing in front of Adam. He put a cautious hand on Adam's chest, over his heart. "Adam, please, you gotta quit it, you're killing me here." He felt his eyes burn and his throat clench and he watched as Adam struggled to get himself under control, not for his own sake, but for Kris'.

Finally, he couldn't bear it any more and he stepped closer and wrapped his arms around Adam's waist, clutched at him and clung. He felt Adam tense in his arms and then slowly, in microscopic increments, he relaxed, eventually clamping his arms around Kris' shoulders and burying his face against Kris' neck.

"Don't leave me," he begged softly into Kris' skin.

"Never again," Kris promised just as quietly. "I'm not going anywhere, I swear."

They stayed like that for what felt like hours.

Eventually they pulled away from each other and wiped wet eyes against shirt sleeves.

"Sorry that I'm being such a baby," Adam said miserably when they were lying side by side on the sofa together; Kris spooned back to front against Adam.

"Don't be an ass," Kris told him sternly, pinching the back of the hand resting on his chest. "You were physically attacked, publically humiliated, you have every reason to be a baby."

"Mom said I should talk to a shrink." Adam's voice was muffled against the short hair at Kris' neck.

"I think she's right," Kris said gently. "What happened wasn't your fault, you need to realise that they were wrong and they are the ones who should feel scared and ashamed."

Adam rubbed his nose against Kris' shoulder. "I _know_ I'm not making sense," he confessed, "I know that I'm acting crazy, but I don't know if I can stop it."

Kris curled his fingers around Adam's and held him tight. "I'll be here, with you, every step of the way," he swore and Adam sighed softly into his skin.

"I love you, Kristopher Neil Allen," he said quietly and squeezed him.

Kris made a fake 'oof' sound and he grinned when he felt Adam's teeth dig into his shoulder. "I love you too, Adam Mitchel Lambert."

"Don't go away again, okay?" Adam begged.

"I told you, I'm here for as long as you need me. You might get sick of me," Kris warned.

"Never," Adam averred. "You can stay forever."

And they slept.

**Author's Note:**

> written for [](http://community.livejournal.com/hc_bingo/profile)[**hc_bingo**](http://community.livejournal.com/hc_bingo/)  
> _social anxiety does not come and go like some other physical and psychological problems. If you have social anxiety one day......you have it every day for the rest of your life..... One thing that all socially anxious people share is the knowledge that their thoughts and fears are basically irrational. That is, people with social anxiety know that others are really not critically judging or evaluating them all the time. They understand that people are not trying to embarrass or humiliate them. They realize that their thoughts and feelings are somewhat exaggerated and irrational. Yet, despite this rational knowledge, they still continue to feel differently._


End file.
